dq in da shoe!

Drama All around

2005-05-04T04:10:13Z

I have had a pretty shitty time hear in Iowa this year. I have had a lot of drama that I could have done without. I go driving a lot in my car, just to drive around. I end up driving so much that I use up half a tank. The guy that I am in love with found out two weeks ago in a drunken moment so I have been dealing with that. I am also dealing with the fact that I feel lost and I don't know what I can do about it. I hate the fact that my freinds all seem happy with the way their lives are going and I can't even seem to have a content day. I was seeing another guy for a while but that relationship was always nonexistant in the way that it was a convenieint relationship but not a happy one. I drive around a lot thinking that it would be great if I could just keep going and not turn back. I want to just continue in a direction that is far away from Iowa City. I hate being here and I hate my life here. I want to be happy for my friends because they are happy for themselves but it is really hard. I have no idea what to do to make my life better. It is pointless trying to ask for life to be easier because that is never going to happen. For once I would just like things to happen the way I imagine them happening and for things to end the way I fantasize them ending. I leep hearing that before I can be happy with anyone else I need to be happy with myself. Although that is great advice, it is easier said than done. How can I make myself happy without feeling as though I need someone else to help me? I don't need anyone else in my life to tell me how to live it. I could do without those kind for a while. I would love to just run away for a while, find out who I am and then come back a happier person. My dad says that I need to do some soul searching. But how can I do that when I am being suffocated by every piece of my surroundings? I was thinking of going away this summer and doing something for myself. But that won't work because I need to get a job and work this summer. I am stuck. I can't keep making plans for my future because i no longer know what I want my future to be. And that is a very scary thought.

Update...Missin my Ghetto girls (especially my crazy ghetto queen)

2004-08-30T00:29:15Z

Ok, it has been a long as time since i have written in this journal but i missed it and wanted to give it some love. My summer was not too bad in the first two months. I got a full time job that paid very well and I made me some money this summer. I am back in Iowa for good, at least for now, and will be attending the University of Iowa (whoopi). I had a freakin blast in August when Shanaynay came to Iowa and we did some crazy ass shit. It was awesome. I took her to the Field of Dreams and we saw the borth place of Herbert Hoover and some other things as well. My favorite was going to Chicago and walking to everything and then spending the next day at Six Flags Chicago which was just awesome. Naynay, you will be missed incredibly. I am now back in school and already feel very behind and swamped with work. Any condolences I can recieve will be much appreciated. But I truly hope that this seperation from my G-vegas pals and I will not last long. I am already planning on making a trip to Greenville in December or January. Until then, everyone take care and keep in touch.

Friday Night!!!!!

2004-03-02T04:11:03Z

This entry is to just describe a fun friday night that happened over the weekned. I went to a party with Tara, Nicky, Rachel and my newest friend Casey (so awesome girl!!!!!)....
OK....Casey and I started the night at my friend Kim's dorm room. We went there lookin for a good time but all we found were a couple of crazy girls whonwere already pretty messed up...and the RA did see them (OH NO!!!!!).....So, we decided to go to a birthday party that Tara invited us to earlier....thank you soooooooooooo much TER!!! cuz we had a blast.
The night started out a little awkward because we didn't know anybody...but then we got a few beers (dark beer and good shit) into our system and loosened up. It was awesome. I went crazy with the making new friends ordeal and met a lot of awesome people (at least that is how they were drunk)....I think i met everybody there (if I left anyone out I am sorry). Well, we mingled, we drank and we enjoyed ourselves as college students out on the town for a good time. There were a lot of hot guys (ok, well maybe just a few) and a female stripper for the birthday boy (not my idea of a party but it worked for the males).
I helped and persuaded my friends Nick and Casey to get together since they were feelin eachother and I figures "why the hell not, they are young." So, at least one good relationship came out of that night. I met a really cool 36 year old guy who everyone says I was hangin all over but I dont think that is true....I was being "friendly." And then there was this other guy named Ben who was feelin me a little too much but my friend Rachel was tellin me to forget it and good thing I listened to her with my drunk ass cuz , even though he was nice, i would have regretted it in the morning...
We waited forever to get a cab but eventually made it back to the dorm, free of charge thanks to our new best friend Billy.
Once we got back to the dorm, Casey and I watched an episode of Roswell (wwwwwooooooooo our new favorite show!!!!!). Well, we tried to watch it but we both fell asleep and missed the ending....but it was all good cuz this was an awesome night and I didnt have anyone being judgemental toward me. It was just an easy and innocent night of pure drunk fun....
I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooo happy for Casey and Nick.....they are so cute together and I like to think I had a lot to do with that..
Well, that was the night that was definitely worth remembering. I will never forget it. Thank you to everyone who took part in it. It was just what I needed at that time and I will never forget it.

I am too damn happy

2003-12-22T02:39:31Z

Ok, here is the update on what has been hoppin down in Iowa. I have been back for only three days and already I got shit happenin to me and others. Well, on Friday I flew back from Norfolk, VA and it was a very eventful day. It was not a happy one. I actually made a recording of what I would put in my journal so here it is:
Dec 19- "It has been quite an interesting day. I am now waiting in the St Louis airport terminal for my plane to start boarding. When I arrived here from Norfolk my plane flighjt was late and therefore I missed my next flight to Cedar Rapids. I then had to switch my flight to the next one leaving for Cedar Rapids which resulted in me having to wait for an hour and a half at the airport. It wasn't really a great flying experience from the beginning. When I arrived at the airport in Norfolk I only received a ticket for the flight to St Louis. This, of course, was not normal so I asked the person at the desk about it and. He did a check up and found out that I had like three different reservations fort the exact same flight. So, the person who checked me in originally did not take the time to look a little closer at the big ass information. So, then the people at the gate had to make up another ticket for me and then take my luggage off the plane to put new tags on them stating that they had to go all the way to Cedar Rapids instead of just St Louis. Good thing I said something."
So that is what happened. And then, when I got to the airport in Cedar Rapids and walked through the gate, my niece was the first to see me and came running to me and gave me a big hug. I felt so special. That same night I got to see my friends and then go to a party with my sister. The party was ok and I didn't get home until 4 in the morning. I was tired.
Then, last night I went to a Christmas party with my sister. It was being held by the people that she works with. It was fun. Of course I tried to get the crowd to dance a little but it was a tough crowd. We then went out with our friends to the club after that party. We went to the Sport's Column. But, we wanted to dance so we decided to leave. As we were leaving I saw this guy name Mike who was a receptionist at my orthopedic therapy. I said hi to him and he gave me a hug and told me that it was good to see me. Then, as we were walking out of the Sport's Column I saw my ex-boyfriend Taleb who I haven't seen in forever. I gave him a hug but I forgot to exchange numbers with him to hang out. Maybe another time.
After we left Sport's Column we went to the Union to dance a little bit. We only like a half an hour left before the bars closed. It was shitty too. This is when things started to go really bad. We were tired of dancing so decided to get going. I wanted to go home and so did my sister. My friend Molly wanted to go home as well but her friend from work, Veronica, was being a little drama queen and wanted to stay until it closed. So, we were all trying to deal with this drama when Molly tells me that she needed a drink of water because she didn't feel well. So, she found a vending machine and was having trouble getting the bills in so I had to help her. Well, after we got her her drink I was telling her that it was time to go. She was telling me that she didn't feel good and needed to sit down. Well, I wanted to get out of the bar so I said that we will find her a place to sit outside in the ped-mall. So, we started walking out whn Molly starts to stumble like she is drunk, only she didn't have a drop of alcohol. And then when we got to the second set of stairs and were about to go up them, her eyes role to the back of her head and she falls on them. Then, as I am helping her up she turns and looks at me but is still really wobbly. Her friend Veronica helps me get her up and we start walking her out when her eyes role to the bak of her head again and she basically slugs to the floor. While she is laying on her back a guys comes and tries to help us get her up but then she starts to puke and that seems to bring her back to reality. So, as she is puking we walk her outside and sit her down where she gets sick on herself for about 5 to 10 minutes. It was not good. She says that she only remembers getting the water and then waking up on the floor. That is creepy. I had to make her sit on my sweater in my car while I took her home because she was still getting sick. And then her friend Veronica, once we get in the car, asks if I can take her home first. What a bitch. I told her that I was taking Molly home first and then she was all like "oh yeah, of course...how are you feeling Molly?"...whatever. Well, that was my eventful night.
Then, today I went to the gym. I SAW STARKE!!!! And he talked to me....HE talked to ME. He was asking me everything about what I had been up to and what I was doing for Christmas...he was interested, I can tell. And it seemed like he didn't want to stop talking to me. I liked that. And Damn HE LOOKED GOOD. Oh yeah. But we are leaving for Virginia tomorrow. But I hope I see him when we get back.
Well, that is all for now. I hope everyone is having an awesome Holiday Break. So far, mine is average...but great today.

No more school for 2003!!

2003-12-18T13:13:44Z

I am finally done with the fall semester and don't go back until after Christmas and New Years!! I am at my grandparent's house in Gloucester and tomorrow I GO HOME!!!!!!!!

I cannot believe how fast this week is going by. I LOVE IT!
I miss the ghettoness already at ECU but I will see everyone in about three and a half weeks. WOW! I cannot believe how long that sounds. It is the first time I will be home in four months.

I went to the gym this morning with my grandmother and wanted to update my journal since I haven't done so in a long time. My grandmother woke me up at 5:30 to go to the gym. I was a little desperate to go back to sleep but I am wide awake now....dammit.

I didn't really like this gym very much because it felt like I wasn't do very much working out. I miss raquet ball with Shanaynay. That always helped the best I think because you have to chase that tiny ass ball everywhere.

Well, I haven't seen all of my grades yet but I hope to within the next twenty-four hours or so.
My grandparents have a dog named Skipper and he is just the sweetest thing. Being with him makes me miss my dog a little but he is so cute that I don't mind.

Oh, I should probably tell everyone what happened yesterday at Chico's before Naynay does. Me, Shanaynay and Naynay's mom were eating lunch at Chico's yesterday. Well, my grandparent's called while I was still there to tell me that they had arrived and were outside my dorm. (You need to know that we were sitting in one of those booths that are up on a step and the rest of the tables are on the floor.) Well, I was done eating so Naynay and her mom tell me that I should go and meet my grandparents. So, Naynay gets out of the seet and is standing next to her mom, but she is not completely on the floor; she is standing on the step that our table is on. So, of course I think that she is on the flat floor and back out of the booth with my back to the floor. I don't see it and I keep walking back and fall down the step that we were on. The good thing is that I didn't fall on my ass. I was able to catch myself before that happened. It was pretty clumsy of me, but Naynay and her mom got a kick out of it. It was embarrassing but there were not very many people in that area, luckily. Well, that was my clumsy moment for the day. It was really clumsy and humiliating but that is me.

Well, I don't really have anything else to say right now. I will update more later.

Da weekend

2003-12-05T19:13:20Z

Alright people...dis be the weekend and it is going to go fast. I want this semester to be over.

And I would just like to send out a thanks to my roomie, the ghetto queen, miss shanaynay for tryin to teach me how to do the cat walk. It is a lost cause but I thank ju anyway.

This weekend, the agenda is to go and see an apartment for next year...woo hoo!!!

Oh, and the update for the baby is this: it is doin well and growin fast. I think it is excited about this Christmas because I feel it moving and doin his/her thing. It seems that nobody believes that I am expectin. They think that it is one big joke. Well, it is not. But I do not need their approval.

Well, that is all for now.
Catch you later, peeps.

Not feelin it

2003-12-03T14:58:55Z

I am sorry, but I am not feeling the ghetto love today. It is pissin me off how I am getting used and abused today. I am under enough damn stress. I do not love ju Naynay..."I'm gonna remember dat"

Baby Update

2003-12-03T14:37:51Z

The baby is doing well and growing healthily...unfortunately. Still need to get that sonogram. But, it is excited about it's first X-mas.

Craziness everywhere

2003-12-03T14:35:32Z

Well, I got my first final done. Woo Hoo!!! This semester is almost over.

I have been reading up on some of Naynay's entries, and people...she is telling lies about me. I am not a nasty person with a dirty mind.

"Twenty-four hours a day" ~Naynay (quote from the nanny...said by CC with a very nasal voice)...Shanaynay says it very nasally. Love me some of the Nanny

Well, that is all for now. I basically want Naynay to stop harrassing me about not updating my journal. I'll be back later on today.

Here

2003-12-02T02:23:28Z

Here is your damn journal entry: Kiss My Ass SHANAYNAY!

Sick again

2003-12-02T01:47:40Z

I have gotten another cold. I cannot stand these colds. I think I am too stressed and therefore I am more open to getting more sick than I want to. I hate being sick because I cannot breathe. I CANNOT BREATHE!! Gosh dangit. Well, I am just chillin here, watchin "All I want for Christmas", and tryin to do some work...unsuccessfully of course. Well, Christmas vacation is almost here and I cannot wait because I get to go home, see my family, see my friends, and see my Starke. YEAH! So happy. However, I still need to do some Christmas shopping. That is the only bummer because I don't know what everyone wants. But, I will get it done. Happy Holidays All!!!

The baby

2003-11-22T17:39:22Z

Just wanted to say that the baby is doin well. We are going to get a sonogram/monogram (potato/poTATo) in a couple of days. I am about four months along and am very excited about seeing what the ghetto baby is. We will soon find out!!!

Stupid movie

2003-11-22T06:42:19Z

OK...today has been an easy day. Even though I had to wait for that girl from my dance class to come and get me to go and observe today, she at least had a good excuse as to why she was late...and I still got to go! That is almost done with which makes me happy.
Tonight, Naynay and I went to watch Justincase, who I enjoyed very much...we played pool while we were listening and discovered that we both pretty much suck at it. Then, we came back to our room and drank a little before going to see a movie which everyone said was a porn movie. But, I was falling asleep during the whole thing and I didn't like it very much and wanted them to show some more bare body parts on the guys, but they didn't. It was a stupid movie. Don't ever go see Km 0. Well, right now I am reallt tired. I got me a ride to go to VA Beach for Thanksgiving and I get to leave on Mon instead of Tues which means my break starts at a sooner date. Very happy!!
Ok, well, I think that that is all I have to say for now. More later.

What is up with this?!

2003-11-14T14:13:16Z

Alright, this is getting annoyingly ridiculus. This girl from my class did not show up to pick me up once again today. I waited out there in the freezing cold this morning for twenty minutes and I did not see her at all. Either she is the ditziest airhead I have ever met or she and I are not on the same page concerning where to meet.
I am also not feeling very well. I have a cold, again. This is like my third cold since I have been here. This flu shot better be working because there is no way that I want to get anything worse than a cold, they are bad enough.
Well, last night we watched Swimming Pool at the Mendenhall movie theatre. Talk about weird porn. It was all porn and no real plot. I didn't get it. I don't think anybody else did either.
Anyway, at least I had more to say today.

dancinqueen84 @ 2003-11-13T13:05:00

2003-11-13T18:21:38Z

Last night I chilled in my room with the ghetto queen. We watched the Parent Trap, the new version, and played concentration games. Naynay tried to get me to pass out and it worked a couple of times but only for a short while. I tried a calzone fromt he spot and it was gooood. I also got to try a zero bar which was pretty good too. I am still a little new to this whole live journal thing. It is hard to keep a daily journal when I haven't done it in forever. I usually keep a journal for my thoughts and not my daily life. But it takes some getting used to I suppose.

Driver missing in action

2003-11-10T14:09:03Z

This morning is not exactly peachy keen. I got up like two hours before I normally would so that I could catch a ride with this girl in my dance class for a field observation assignment. However, the girl never showed, and this is the second time in a row that this has happened. Kind of an airhead, she is.
Well, I hate to have my first actual journal entry to be me complaining but I guess it will take some getting used to. I am a little aggravated with my computer as well and we need to call the cable people to come fix our line or else I will relaease a can of woop ass.

new

2003-11-08T20:45:45Z

holla!! dq be here!! doncha knaw?!